if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
