How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
