i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
