You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
