How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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