I saw his package. It spoke to me.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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