jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You are a genius and a whore.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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