I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
