All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
BRING THE BAGELS
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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