she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
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