I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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