he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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