a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
