New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
