did you get engaged???
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
