I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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