I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
