i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
