I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
