he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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