I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
