good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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