It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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