return my video game
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
