This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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