and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
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Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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