i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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