i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
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He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
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the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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