Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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