I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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