is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
