I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
