the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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