well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
