i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
