Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
