Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We're too hungover to prance.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
