This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
