hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
