$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
