It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
