Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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