he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
