i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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