is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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