I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize