So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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