oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
