Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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