All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Randomize
