It's Friday. Sex?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
