We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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