New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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