Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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