It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Boobs are out for the taking
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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