I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
someone owes me an orgasm
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize