The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
