Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
