What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he shaved USA in his pubs
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
