She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
