i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize