I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
