so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Girls should come with a carfax report
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
