Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
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she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize