we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Yup. One sock.