I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver